Happy Self-Love Day Beautiful People!
I received this message via email and I wanted to share this message as the theme of this month's Self-Love Day! The author of this article is unknown.
Relationships: Longing for Belonging
| FROM THE WORD: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." - l Corinthians 13:4-8 The question arises, "What is it that really makes people happy?" The answer is: Quality Relationships. The reason why I know this to be true is that so many people run from relationship to relationship looking for the elusive components of a good friendship or the ideal husband or wife. We are born with an insatiable inner need for meaningful interaction with others. The following information will help you to understand and deal with difficult people and personalities. Take men and women for example. Men are more interested in feeling that they are capable to perform a task or a duty. Women are more interested in acceptance. What we look for in relationships, and what every one needs to experience is:
When those elements of "feelings" are not present, we feel as if we do not belong. Then our love languages may be different from the people with whom we are trying to connect. If people are not communicating in our love language, this can cause isolation and an intense feeling of aloneness. According to Gary Chapman in his book entitled , The Five Love Languages, they are:
The first thing you have to work on is your integrity, pulling all the parts of you together and embracing yourself as a total person. This involves accepting your personality, disposition, uniqueness, your past and your present. You will never have true intimacy until you are truly intimate with yourself. |
| GET TO KNOW THE REAL YOU Take the masks off and explore everything you have suppressed over the course of your life. Accept and move toward resolving unresolved issues and healing any residue of past pain and disappointments. Remember every relationship, in a sense, gives you another chance to resolve issues you didn't get squared away in a previous one. But if you do not heal your hurts, you'll never get them squared away. You'll just continue to repeat relational problems and replay your pain again and again. And when this pattern develops you'll have created a much bigger problem. You will no longer relate to people, but only to what they represent. They will not be anyone you will share yourself with but the object that you use to work through old unresolved issues. New relationships will become replacement parts for old ones. Work on achieving a healthy sense of identity, self-worth, self-esteem and self-image. The truth is, the cause of our emptiness is not a case of missing persons in our lives, but a case of incompletion in our soul. Everyone must have an "I" before they have a "we." ACCEPT YOURSELF IN TOTALITY, GIVE YOURSELF FULLY Too many people attach themselves to another person to obtain approval, affirmation, purpose, safety and identity; and when the inevitable disappointment happens, they complain bitterly that that person failed them. No, you failed yourself. When you come to a relationship lacking personal self-worth, and full of insecurities, all you can offer is neediness. Expecting another person - whether it be a friend, a dating partner, or your husband to provide you with your life is unrealistic and actually unfair. It isn't anyone else's responsibility to give you an identity, make you whole or make you feel good about yourself. People are meant to share in it, not be it. |
MOVING FORWARD
I. GET COMFORTABLE WITH THE FACT THAT YOU WILL FEEL VULNERABLE
We often stifle our emotions out of fear, vacillating between the impulse to reveal ourselves, and the impulse to protect ourselves. The result, no one knows the real you.
II. DEVELOP A WISH LIST AND PRAY FOR THE HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS THAT YOU REALLY WANT
A. Establish realistic expectations
B. Do not settle for less
C. Steer away from people who are needy
D. Avoid toxic people and relationships
E. Get your personal power back
III. SPEAK POSITIVE DECLARATIONS
Tell yourself that you will only draw to yourself individuals who are healthy, and who accept you as you are.
IV. GET UP AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT
If you want friends you must first show yourself friendly. Unless we totally accept ourselves we will not be able to establish quality relationships that give us what we want. In order for us to get what we want out of relationships, we need intimacy. But if we shut down, this will never happen. We are waiting for others to change. I have discovered, when I change, everything changes.
"The highest love a person can have for you is to wish for you to grow into the best person you can be. No one owns you, no matter what your relationship." --David Viscott
"Nobody can hurt me without my permission." - Mahatma Ghandi
Here is to celebrating relationships that are real, true and centered in love and inspiring our youth to do the same.
Happy Belated Mother's Day and Happy Sisters' Sanctuary Self-love Day Beautiful People!
Lacey!
Founder/Personal Empowerment Coach
